Here in the Uk it is the coldest day of the year and my central heating has broken down. We had a big delivery of oil yesterday so I know the tank is full but it might as well be empty because it is not getting through to the boiler. Of course, it could be that the pipe that runs from the tank to the boiler is frozen solid and I have boiled several kettles of water (Smart Metre is getting excited at this) and poured it over the pipe but its still not working.

It is very, very cold and I am wearing all my thermal underwear, scarf and hat. So this is what it would be like with no heating. Fingers are going numb but I can't type with my gloves on. And I can't go out because it is so cold that the brakes have frozen on the car and its not safe to drive it. Meanwhile, my 'phone is on the blink so I'm having problems calling the heating engineers.

Yesterday the brakes froze on the car but the man at the garage fixed it. Today the problem has reappeared.

In between my 'phone cutting out I've managed a few conversations with heating blokes. I've pulled the front panel off the boiler, located a glowing orange light that tells me the system has gone to lock out and pushed the restart button. This works for approximately 5 minutes. I have an oil burner problem and I need an oil heating engineer BUT I CAN'T FIND ONE. They are all too busy "sorry luv" maybe we can come out next Thursday but then we won't be able to get any new parts because we'll be shutting down for Christmas, so give us a call in the New Year and we'll see what we can do.

If only we had the woodburner that we want in the living room. But before we get that, we have to get permission from the local government planning department. And although  I have downloaded the application froms (of which they want 7 copies) I can't fill it out because the questions are too complicated. So I'm waiting for an architect to come and measure and take photos and draw plans of a single pipe coming out of the roof.

The kindly lady from the oil company (and I can't help but think that they filled our tank with something dodgey yesterday) says I should call Cyril who has been in the business for 40 years and "what Cyril doesn't know about oil heating systems isn't worth knowing". Here goes......

P.S. British Telecom said the crackle on the line is our own fault.